movies

Action Movie Morality

Bram Adams

Jan 29, 2023 — 1 min read

Totally unexplainable reasoning.

INT: Some Final Showdown with {BOSS VILLAIN HERE}, Probably in the Unlocked Throne Room 202212251336

Male Lead:

You killed my brother! I can't forgive you for that, {BOSS VILLAIN HERE}, you murderer!!

Villain:

Haha, I…wait, are you serious?

Male Lead:

Serious about what?

Villain:

Well, I just think it's a bit ironic to call me a murderer like you aren't a murderer.

Male Lead:

I -- wha -- no, no I'm not, I'm not a murderer

Villain:

My guy, you killed 15 of my mercenaries on your way into this very room. Look -- you literally just shoved one of my lackies of the cliff onto that bed of wooden spikes.

camera pans to lackey impaled by spikes

Male Lead:

Well, I mean, yeah, but -- but they're mercenaries! They're hired killers!

Villain:

Do you … do you think that because someone is a mercenary they can't be murdered?

Male Lead:

I well, no, I mean … I guess I hadn't really thought about it before.

Villain:

Dave.

Male Lead:

What?

Villain:

Dave. The lackey -- the one you just pushed off the cliff? His name was Dave. He has two daughters at home.

Male Lead:

Oh, oh -- oh my god.

Villain:

Yeah.

Male Lead:

But -- but you we're just going to take this treasure and use it for nefarious ends, so I'm still fighting for the innocent!

Villain:

Oh, and what were you planning to do with the money?

Male Lead:

Sorry, what?

Villain:

I said, what are you planning on using the money on, Mr. High Horse?

Male Lead:

Well, I uh … I guess I was going to take it, and sell it on … on the black market? I … I don't know, I usually don't think much outside of witty one liners.

Villain:

So it's worse, you don't even have a goal for the money? You're just here for the thrill of the hunt. You killed Dave for the thrill of the hunt. That makes you a bad person, do you see what I'm saying?

Male Lead:

But -- but I was hired to solve the mystery. This unsolvable 500 year old mystery!

Villain:

Congratulations, so you are an escape room veteran who midnights as a murderer. That is literally the worst combination of skills a person could have.

Dave:

sputters blood, coughs

Male Lead:

panics